Oof.
Friendly reminder: if you don't know someone, and they do not specifically request it or make it clear that it's okay, don't DM them, please. Thanks.
This especially goes if you're trying to "helpfully explain" anything that they're talking about: without an existing relationship, it's difficult to gauge how much knowledge someone has about a given topic, and what you perceive as "this person doesn't know" may honestly be, "this person is not talking about this aspect at this point in time."
I'm going to refrain from calling it mansplaining, because I'm definitely not an expert in the field, but, like...
Sending a total stranger a long and earnest message about how they're wrong or have misunderstood your point makes you look like an ass and feels very hostile, even if that's not the intention. THE END.
@hafnia *writes public post to international social media platform* *gets replies from strangers* *surprised pikachu face*
@digicana Except that's literally not what I'm talking about, but thanks for the strawman, I guess?
@hafnia Huh. Must be one of those Mastodon social norms I don’t understand. The difference between public and DM is literally just a different inbox from the recipient perspective. As someone weaned on Usenet decades ago, that’s difficult to relate to. Also please try not to come down too hard on me for not understanding what you were after, you did spend a bit of time in the weeds explaining how people who don’t know you personally mustn’t comment on your life, mansplaining, etc etc. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@digicana Yeah, again, you seem to have completely misinterpreted what I am saying here and are taking it as some kind of hill to die on.
Here's a hint: not welcoming unsolicited DMs is a pretty common social boundary, and it's normal to say, "Hey, don't do that".
Private replies ARE different, in that there's no accountability, the way there is on the public timeline. What about that is so difficult to understand?